Ten10

Damn!! it just does not go easily. It is sticky, oily, eggy and so pasty, I need lots of soap and water to get rid of this from my face... After 15 minutes of struggle, I got rid of it. I looked at myself in the mirror victoriously after getting rid of the birthday cake painted on my face by my friends. Yeah, Thanks to all of my friends who took their time to remember and wish me on my birthday.

Usually, Birthday is the time filled with surprises, gifts, blessings, wishes, entertainment, joy and lots of love. It is a time for assorting cakes/sweets, balloons, crackers, friends, relatives and family. This day will be a very special day in every one's life and everyone enjoys moving one step ahead in life.

However, as most of you, I am not for it. If there is a mob who thinks that birthday is just an another day; is just the beginning of an another 365 days journey around the Sun; is a day which reminds you of your aging; is just an another reason for having a good laugh together, please invite me to dive in with you, I will be privileged to have your company.

"Oh, well, then do you want to grow younger?" Of course, I do. Who does not?

...but I read somewhere, "Staying younger is about Living honestly, Eating less & slowly, and Lying about the age". 
Yeah, I am only trying to live honestly; Eating loads and faster; My body won't let me lie about my age, Damn!!.

Anyway, as many of you, I want to treat my birthday as a normal day. I would politely request the same to my near and dear ones the same. That is the greatest gift for me ever, but my near and dear ones will never let that happen. There is a saying "Pride is one of the greatest sin", but I am happy to commit that sin after knowing that I am gifted with so many good friends. Yes, my wealth cannot be valued by any means.

Talking about gifts, there were so many birthday gifts I have had in these years, which fascinated me, emoted me and made me feel special, importantly made me feel younger. However, only few birthdays and gifts will stay green forever in you, which will take a special place in your heart, which brings tears of joy whenever you think about it. Yes, there was one such birthday which blew my mind and left me speechless. It was a birthday which was filled with endless surprises, a true effort from my friends and family to make it as a special one. Year 2008 it was.

Tamil and Chakku were master minding all the activities for that day. A lot happened for that day & on that day. Here I am, I split open my heart and share the highlights of my love and laugh...

Broken surprise: Tamil was hunting hard for a cake in the late evening to surprise me @ 12 am; she could not find one; called Chakku to find an alternative solution; by chance, I picked up the phone; she spoke everything about the cake to me without knowing that it was me; the cat was out of the bag; she screamed in anger and scolded Chakku for not keeping the mobile in his possession. Laugh! Laugh! Laugh!

2008 Bday cake

Pride is a sin: I felt so proud after breaking the surprise; yes, I felt like a king; However, that did not last long and I was proved wrong; Tamil is so clever to turn things around in no time; she made a plan B, a cake which (I think) was never made ever in the world; A custom made cake with all my favorite food; A well organised circle of Chicken Biriyani; which had the Dosa as roof; Parotta pieces to decorate; along with Chicken leg pieces and boiled eggs; world's first cake with this combination. An innovative effort, bowled me off.

Surprise visitor: Surprises were all over, I thought; but I was again proved wrong; there was a special visitor about to grace me; Chakku challenged me to guess who; I tried, but failed; all my guesses were wrong; someone came behind and closed my eyes; I still could not guess who it was; at the end, it was my uncle, Panneer; he is the busiest person in our family; hard to reach; I was touched deep in my heart to see him on that day; his presence made me feel special. Love all around.

The final touch: Is that all? Is that all for the day? No way; they had a final touch planned; Yes, that was an everlasting gift pulled by Chakku,Tamil and Sujai; the pals bowled me over again; it is a gift to cherish at all time and a treasure to be kept safe forever; it was a handwritten opinion about me along with the lovely teases, wishes & blessings from my friends & family across the globe; collected for over a month to surprise me on this day; the highlight was that, most of the letters were from my friends & family who I never thought would even write a letter these days; all the letters were funny, humorous, touching and written with lots of love; mind blowing and everlasting; tough to beat this one ever.

I have posted one of those letters below; which made me laugh my brains out; written by my sister Elakiya; Java programmer; do not try to compile this code; this is strictly for your eyes only;...and hey, I am actually not as the code says, it was just a teaser thrown by Elakiya; just for laugh. Here it goes...

Dear Brother, what can I say about you? I cannot explain about you in normal words, so, I am explaining about you in our own language, here you go,

import java.util.naughty;
import java.util.silly;

public class Kari implements BirdWatcher {

String name = "karikalan";
Integer age = 21; //Long long ago
String hobby = "BirdWatching";

public static void main(String girls[]) {

EachDay activity = new EachDay();

do {
if(mom.sees) {
activity.actAsGoodGuy();
}
else {
activity.flirtWithGirls();
}
setInterval(5); //5 mins
}
while(!tired);

try { //girls attention

if(girls.lookAtYou) {
activity.hideBaldHead();
activity.changeInBodyLanguage();
activity.speakBritishEnglish();
}
else if (girlsParents.lookAtYou) {
activity.sillySmile();
activity.moveAwayFromPlace();
}
else if(girlsParents.stare) {
activity.sillySmile();
activity.runAway();
}
}
catch(NoGirlsFoundException e) {
e.print("Be sad, go to work");
}
catch(NoGirlsPaidAttentionException e) {
e.print("Pretend you are not sad, and say, none of the girls are good looking");
}
}

Hope you are happy with my gift brother, Wish you a many more happy returns of the day.

With Luv,
Elakiya

.....will post few other touching and humorous letters in the next posts. If you have any memorable experience like this, please share across.

The perfect storm

I crashed to the bed as usual as the other days to accompany the beautiful night which showered limitless cold golden rays. This planet is definitely gifted to have a permanent investor to shower the gold, only to get the pollution in return. The earth bowl needs more moon like souls, which will fill the world with happiness and joy; where equality valued as gold; sharing as diamond; overwhelming quality attitude. My mind ran a thought race to win the sleep, but my eyelids refused my mind and closed with shyness. My mind fought furiously and tried to lift my eyelids, this time with the support of dreams filled with racy thrillers, romances, fantasies and a bit of a super heroism. Uff, it is already 2 am.

It was a long fight. I miserably failed in convincing them both, not able to bear my failure, I got up from my bed. Damn, I very badly need a sleep, like a baby. When was the last time I managed that? hmmmm, yeah @ the time of my sister's marriage. What an occasion that was, truly a storm which took us for an enthralling experience. It was years ago, but it feels like yesterday.

"Kari, are you done with the marriage shopping for Vasanth? You lazy duck, why dont you finish it off?" My mom screamed in the morning. This has almost become my wake up call everyday. My Dad's turn now, "Idiot, you are the best man for Vasanth in the marriage, you are proving it otherwise. Hurry up".

Without a surprise, weeks of shopping for Vasanth ended just hours before the big occasion. It was my job to make Vasanth look smart. Smart eh?, that word always kept a long distance from me since I was born, but I can't give up on my ego, can I? After all, I am Vasanth's best man in the marriage. I have lined up the party wears, suits, shirts, T-shirts, shoes, slippers & belts to compete with each other to load Vasanth's smartness, but is that enough? hmm... something was missing, yeah, that is it, a glow, a glow in Vasanth's face was missing. A long nice facial did the job. After 3 hours, when it was all over, I realised that it was too late and I missed to do my facial. Damn.

My parents have made all the arrangements @ the marriage hall and waiting for me to join them to greet and welcome the guests. They were losing their patience on me. "Where the hell is he?" My dad yelled, "Vasanth's family has left their home, they could be here any minute, where the hell is he?"

My aunt Selvi agreed to do a quick facial for me. The true colors of the facial would only be visible after 2 days. I was too late, but I hoped that it would atleast hide my 3 sleepless nights (blame it on the marriage arrangements) from my face. The time was running out, it did not let me think about anything. My aunt did a crash course in facial on my face. Thanks aunty.

Panneer uncle was losing his patience, called me. "Where are you? The groom's family could be here any time, hurry up. We also have to pick up people from the bus stop since they don't know where the marriage hall is". Nataraj uncle called, "Kari, we need to buy few things for the chef to prepare the food, hurry up". Nagaraj uncle called, "Kari, my friends wants to refresh @ the hotel, can you show them the hotel?". My aunt called, "Kari, can you please get a garland for the bride, we forgot". My friends called....

I was driving crazy with the facial mask on, in the roads of Coimbatore with my cousin Dilip covering my back. My mission: Go home, clean up the facial, dress up and get to the marriage hall before Vasanth's family arrives. It needs 60 mins, but I had only 5. Many on the road would have thought, I must be a crazy freak driving with some kind of mask on. I managed to scare my relatives @ my home as well.

Guests, who were waiting for me to pick them up got fed up and made their own way to the marriage hall with frustration, which boosted the anger of my parents and uncle. They were fuming like the Sun and waiting for my arrival to burst. More the time passed, closer the groom's family was to the marriage hall. Dad, uncles, aunts and friends dialled my number again.

I had to shhusshh the mobile for a while. I was in the urge to complete my mission. I sat on my bike and ignited the engine. "Kari, your mustache is not well aligned", my friend Rama told. God dammit! I panicked. Oh boy, the mirror agreed with Rama. Scissors trimmed the error, it was done in a rush, relatives everywhere, never got a private place, even if I had one, the tension did not let me feel so. Outcome: I almost removed my entire mushtache. Crap.

Dad and uncle were busy in the kitchen. Mom was busy decorating the reception. I ran into the groom's room, Thank God, Vasanth's family was not there yet. Phew. Tried to dress up, I was just half dressed, but my uncle dragged me to the reception to welcome Vasanth's family. After the welcome ceremony, I realised that I did not zip my trousers, Whoooops. The moment which I will never forget in my life time.

Guests started pouring to the marriage hall; We expected around 1500 people; Entire family were in full swing to attend them; In a while everyone will want to see the couple, have food and leave. Again my mobile buzzed. "Is Vasanth ready yet?" my uncle shouted. The blame rockets started flying all over the hall carrying my name for the delay.



I helped Vasanth to dress up; the bride was busy with the make up; while waiting for the bride I tried to setup my laptop for the slideshow planned, which let me down in a big time. After a long fight, with huge pressure piling up in the marriage hall, I gave up. I rushed and took the hands of the couple and walked them to the stage to lighten up the occasion.

Uff, major part was over, let me rest, I thought. "What? The ride has just begun, rest is 2 more sleepless days away", said the following events.

Welcoming guests; introducing people; getting introduced; food arrangements; drinks for people; drinks for couple; introducing the couple; pick ups and drops; arranging accomodation; medication for old people; managing the photographers; buying things for the marriage process; securing the valuables; checking the dining; tipping the drinkers; photo session with relatives/family and friends; preparing thank you cards; distributing sweets; convincing some; pleasing some; glancing some; calming down the silly fights; yeah all were tried for over 1000 people.

..the head count was hitting 1500; and the night was still young; we were all over the place; everyone did everything; all plans went for a toss; "Plans are made to be broken?"; we just had to go with the flow; neither could we pause it or streamline it; yeah, just gone with the flow.

I was spinning like a wheel of a car cruising in the speed of 120 kmph. My heart never pumped the blood so hard ever; My nerves played drums in my face; I never drank the air that much ever; I was sweating to resolve the water scarcity; I felt like I was thrown into a Tsunami and struggled to catch my breath. Thanks to Chakku, Sujai, Gopi and Arumugam who accompanied me in this ride. Without them, I would have been left without an Oxygen.

I remembered myself snoozing when driving back to my home after sending off the last guest who came for the marriage. I tried to keep myself awake from the 3 sleepless nights, but couldn't, I almost fell off from the bike. Thank God, my home was not far. I somehow managed reached the home. I felt like a drunkard; I blabbered something; my vision blurred; head spun; swimmed to the bed; and crashed like a baby; Yes, I truly felt so. It was at that time, I slept like a baby.

Yes, I slept like a baby. Do babies snore?... I did. I heard someone asking "What happened to the plan?"

Cartoon characters plan was swayed away due to the lack of professionals.
Face painters plan was washed away by traditional humans.
Magician plan disappeared due to the afford-ability.
Ramp walk plan was ruled out since we didn't even have time to run.
Slideshow plan worked, but the old memories were never in the picture.
Wish speech recording plan was a victim of the disease "Busy".
A script to carve a movie was dropped due to the lack of plan.

In my deep sleep, from somewhere inside the well, I heard again "What happened to the plan?". I wanted to say "It is all still alive... in the DREAMS", but... I just continued to sleep like a baby.

Dear Darling Uncle

"Who is with Tamilarasi?", the doctor called.

I stood in front of the Doctor with a curious and nervous face. I was alone, looking after my sister in the labor ward. Everyone has just left the hospital to refresh themselves after waiting for the doctor's response for the whole night yesterday. 

"We need to do a Cesarean to your sister immediately, since the blood pressure is not coming down and we cannot delay anymore, so we want your signature to start the operation.", the doctor said.

That is it, all my fear, nervousness and tension has took a panic face and my sweat was demonstrating that to everyone. 

"...but Doctor, you said that it will take at least a day to decide on the operation, why all of a sudden..." I asked.

"It will become critical if we leave it for later, due to the high BP", firm was the doctor's voice.

At once, I called Vasanth (my Brother-in-law), no response. Called Dad, no response. Arggghhhh!! They might be driving?

"Karikalan, can you please sign? this is urgent", the doctor was impatient. I have no choice, I signed and looked at my sister by hiding all my fear and panic with a pathetic smile and thumbs up, thank God, she did not notice the shiver in my hands, phew.

Few minutes later, Tamil was wheeling towards the operation theater. Vasanth made it on time to hold Tamil's hands before the operation, that is all she wished for. We were asked to wait outside the operation theater. It was a wait with lots of tension, nervousness, fear, anxiety, expectation, joy... ufff, a real storm of mixed emotions. 

I could not be idle; walked here and there; bit my lips; called friends without knowing what to say; smiled ridiculously at the people in the waiting room; just wanted to pretend that I am not tensed; so filled my hands in my trouser pockets; felt something, something inside my pocket.  What is it?  What is there in my pocket, a paper? Must be some forgotten bills? I took that out and opened it... it was a letter... yes, letter... and it read...

My dear darling uncle,

I am doing great in here inside my mom with all of your love and care. I know you are a bit tensed now, roaming like a restless cat outside the operation theatre awaiting my arrival. Don't you worry uncle, I am doing great and I will step into this world with a good health. I know my words won't give you complete peace, but at least you will be too busy to be tensed until you finish reading this letter.

I heard your bet many times on my gender. Yes, you are right, I am a girl, It is a little secret between you and me. Maybe I am a girl just to make you win in the bet and I am so happy about it. Here you go, victory is my first gift to you with a pride.

Few months later, if you wonder why I am staring at you without a blink and my jaw open when I hear your voice, it is because, a month ago I felt your hands touching my legs few times. I felt the love and care in that touch. I really wanted to see you at that very moment, but it felt like I won't be getting a ticket for an another month to step into your world. I just could not wait, so imagined your face and captured that in my mind. Hence, my stare is to compare if my imagination matches with the reality, so don't be bothered with my stare. 

I know my mom and you share a great love. I really envy that, but it is something I truly admire and would want to continue forever. I know you are worried that I might steal her from you, but not to worry uncle, I will ensure that her love is even more than before and I will be the stronger glue to stick you both together forever.

My mom told that you are the first grandson in your generation, so you got all the extreme love from our family which spoiled you to the core to be naughty and tease everyone in the family. How dare you? Well, uncle, those days are gone, here I come, the next gen kid, whiz kid, tough kid, funny kid, importantly a naughty kid to tease and challenge you back and steal all the love you got from our family. To start with, here is my open challenge, can you try to keep me calm when I am being tonsured and pierced for the first time? can you? If you lose, the penalty is Rs. 20k. Deal? I bet you cannot ;-).

My mom also told me that, you did not even know that you had a sister until you are 12 years old, due to your lion share on the love from our family. She for sure has missed lots of her brother care at the initial stage of her life. I know you also want to pay that back to her. Here I come, to give you a chance to compensate that. Utilise it to the maximum. I am Tamilarasi junior, the childhood photos of my mom is the proof for the same.

You complain a lot about the hall size of your house being too big, dont you? but uncle, don't worry, I will ensure that with my naughty and cute plays, I will make the hall look smaller. You better remodel your hall before I start speaking, if not, you will regret it for sure ;-). You have a great lawn as well, get your lazy butt up and keep the lawn well maintained and clean along with my Grand Dad for me to play. Otherwise, I will ensure that you will lose your sleep with my scream ;-).

My name, hmmm, what would be my name? would it be traditional, modern or funny? Is it something to be proud about? Well, I am not paranoid about it, because I have a feeling that my parents would select the name of your choice, so I am not even thinking about it since I know it would be a great name.

Uncle, remember, I am the first kid of my genration in our family and I will always hold that position with pride, as you are in your generation. This is the position which no one else, literally no one else, not even your kid can hold, Wahey! I am unique and will have a special place in all of your mind forever.

I really will miss my great grandma. I have heard great things about her from my mom, but nevermind, my mom looks like my great grandma, so I would see and feel her through my mom. I am sure she is watching me always from heaven and I am so grateful for the love she has left behind for our family.

My mom said, you are not very expressive emotionally with kids, but there is no escape from me. Together we both will have lots of fun when our parents are busy in their own world. I am sure you have lots of stories to say, games to teach, things to watch and moments to cherish. I know, you will turn the world around for me if I behave. I promise that I will be a good girl, since the world is not enough for me. Alternatively, I will reach out to my aunt Saranya to knock you down ;-).

Unlike other uncles and niece in our family, I know you would take special care of me and my future, with that, I will climb to heights, I will live my dreams and I will get all I wish for. I know, there will be lots of challenges in this life, and being a girl, many will try to break me, but I know you will be at my side to support me in all good and bad times. I will just enjoy what I am doing and will find my purpose and passion to have a great life. 

I know my parents would be sweating their blood out to set a great future for me, but honestly, my future would be incomplete without your presence. 

Just few more minutes away to meet you uncle, see you in a moment.

With lots of Love,
Your niece.

I was dumbstruck. I looked around. Read the letter again. I ran to Saranya to show the letter with an excitement beyond imagination. A loud and firm voice distracted my sprint, 

"Tamilarasi, delivered a baby girl, both mom and kid are doing fine, relatives can see the kid now", the voice of the doctor.

Everyone of us were jumping in joy. I was jumping around to take a first look at my niece, capturing every one's reaction and my niece's encounter with my relatives around. She was so cute, like a pink full moon.  it was a magical moment. After few minutes, she was taken back to the ICU. I called and informed my relatives and friends about the occasion. It took some time for me to come back to normal. ...hmmm.. wait.. I forgot something, what is it? 

Aaang! the letter, letter from my niece which I wanted to show to Saranya. Where is it? in the trouser pocket? no, in the shirt pocket? no, gave it to someone? no, fell somewhere? no. Where is it? did I leave it in ICU? no, where the hell is it? 

Would anyone believe me if I say that my niece wrote a letter to me even before she was born? or would they just call me a day dreamer? or maybe it is a day dream?