Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Dear Darling Uncle

"Who is with Tamilarasi?", the doctor called.
I stood in front of the Doctor with a curious and nervous face. I was alone, looking after my sister in the labor ward. Everyone has just left the hospital to refresh themselves after waiting for the doctor's response for the whole night yesterday. 

"We need to do a Cesarean to your sister immediately, since the blood pressure is not coming down and we cannot delay anymore, so we want your signature to start the operation.", the doctor said.

That is it, all my fear, nervousness and tension has took a panic face and my sweat was demonstrating that to everyone. 

"...but Doctor, you said that it will take at least a day to decide on the operation, why all of a sudden..." I asked.

"It will become critical if we leave it for later, due to the high BP", firm was the doctor's voice.

At once, I called Vasanth (my Brother-in-law), no response. Called Dad, no response. Arggghhhh!! They might be driving?

"Karikalan, can you please sign? this is urgent", the doctor was impatient. I have no choice, I signed and looked at my sister by hiding all my fear and panic with a pathetic smile and thumbs up, thank God, she did not notice the shiver in my hands, phew.

Few minutes later, Tamil was wheeling towards the operation theater. Vasanth made it on time to hold Tamil's hands before the operation, that is all she wished for. We were asked to wait outside the operation theater. It was a wait with lots of tension, nervousness, fear, anxiety, expectation, joy... ufff, a real storm of mixed emotions. 
I could not be idle; walked here and there; bit my lips; called friends without knowing what to say; smiled ridiculously at the people in the waiting room; just wanted to pretend that I am not tensed; so filled my hands in my trouser pockets; felt something, something inside my pocket.  What is it?  What is there in my pocket, a paper? Must be some forgotten bills? I took that out and opened it... it was a letter... yes, letter... and it read...

My dear darling uncle,

I am doing great in here inside my mom with all of your love and care. I know you are a bit tensed now, roaming like a restless cat outside the operation theatre awaiting my arrival. Don't you worry uncle, I am doing great and I will step into this world with a good health. I know my words won't give you complete peace, but at least you will be too busy to be tensed until you finish reading this letter.

I heard your bet many times on my gender. Yes, you are right, I am a girl, It is a little secret between you and me. Maybe I am a girl just to make you win in the bet and I am so happy about it. Here you go, victory is my first gift to you with a pride.

Few months later, if you wonder why I am staring at you without a blink and my jaw open when I hear your voice, it is because, a month ago I felt your hands touching my legs few times. I felt the love and care in that touch. I really wanted to see you at that very moment, but it felt like I won't be getting a ticket for an another month to step into your world. I just could not wait, so imagined your face and captured that in my mind. Hence, my stare is to compare if my imagination matches with the reality, so don't be bothered with my stare. 

I know my mom and you share a great love. I really envy that, but it is something I truly admire and would want to continue forever. I know you are worried that I might steal her from you, but not to worry uncle, I will ensure that her love is even more than before and I will be the stronger glue to stick you both together forever.

My mom told that you are the first grandson in your generation, so you got all the extreme love from our family which spoiled you to the core to be naughty and tease everyone in the family. How dare you? Well, uncle, those days are gone, here I come, the next gen kid, whiz kid, tough kid, funny kid, importantly a naughty kid to tease and challenge you back and steal all the love you got from our family. To start with, here is my open challenge, can you try to keep me calm when I am being tonsured and pierced for the first time? can you? If you lose, the penalty is Rs. 20k. Deal? I bet you cannot ;-).

My mom also told me that, you did not even know that you had a sister until you are 12 years old, due to your lion share on the love from our family. She for sure has missed lots of her brother care at the initial stage of her life. I know you also want to pay that back to her. Here I come, to give you a chance to compensate that. Utilise it to the maximum. I am Tamilarasi junior, the childhood photos of my mom is the proof for the same.

You complain a lot about the hall size of your house being too big, dont you? but uncle, don't worry, I will ensure that with my naughty and cute plays, I will make the hall look smaller. You better remodel your hall before I start speaking, if not, you will regret it for sure ;-). You have a great lawn as well, get your lazy butt up and keep the lawn well maintained and clean along with my Grand Dad for me to play. Otherwise, I will ensure that you will lose your sleep with my scream ;-).

My name, hmmm, what would be my name? would it be traditional, modern or funny? Is it something to be proud about? Well, I am not paranoid about it, because I have a feeling that my parents would select the name of your choice, so I am not even thinking about it since I know it would be a great name.

Uncle, remember, I am the first kid of my genration in our family and I will always hold that position with pride, as you are in your generation. This is the position which no one else, literally no one else, not even your kid can hold, Wahey! I am unique and will have a special place in all of your mind forever.

I really will miss my great grandma. I have heard great things about her from my mom, but nevermind, my mom looks like my great grandma, so I would see and feel her through my mom. I am sure she is watching me always from heaven and I am so grateful for the love she has left behind for our family.

My mom said, you are not very expressive emotionally with kids, but there is no escape from me. Together we both will have lots of fun when our parents are busy in their own world. I am sure you have lots of stories to say, games to teach, things to watch and moments to cherish. I know, you will turn the world around for me if I behave. I promise that I will be a good girl, since the world is not enough for me. Alternatively, I will reach out to my aunt Saranya to knock you down ;-).

Unlike other uncles and niece in our family, I know you would take special care of me and my future, with that, I will climb to heights, I will live my dreams and I will get all I wish for. I know, there will be lots of challenges in this life, and being a girl, many will try to break me, but I know you will be at my side to support me in all good and bad times. I will just enjoy what I am doing and will find my purpose and passion to have a great life. 

I know my parents would be sweating their blood out to set a great future for me, but honestly, my future would be incomplete without your presence. 

Just few more minutes away to meet you uncle, see you in a moment.

With lots of Love,
Your niece.
I was dumbstruck. I looked around. Read the letter again. I ran to Saranya to show the letter with an excitement beyond imagination. A loud and firm voice distracted my sprint, 

"Tamilarasi, delivered a baby girl, both mom and kid are doing fine, relatives can see the kid now", the voice of the doctor.

Everyone of us were jumping in joy. I was jumping around to take a first look at my niece, capturing every one's reaction and my niece's encounter with my relatives around. She was so cute, like a pink full moon.  it was a magical moment. After few minutes, she was taken back to the ICU. I called and informed my relatives and friends about the occasion. It took some time for me to come back to normal. ...hmmm.. wait.. I forgot something, what is it? 
Aaang! the letter, letter from my niece which I wanted to show to Saranya. Where is it? in the trouser pocket? no, in the shirt pocket? no, gave it to someone? no, fell somewhere? no. Where is it? did I leave it in ICU? no, where the hell is it? 
Would anyone believe me if I say that my niece wrote a letter to me even before she was born? or would they just call me a day dreamer? or maybe it is a day dream? 

11 comments:

Bharathi said...

Just tears ran down ... Lucky Kid :-)

she will be really great for these articles when she read this in future . Hope you are preserving a copy of it for her to view in future . we may not have blogger after 20 years !!

To my knowledge no other kid have such a gift . You are a Great Uncle .You will be a better Dad . Waitign to read the articles you post about your kid

Karikalan said...

Thanks, but I am not sure if I can keep up the promises given and live up to my niece's expectation, but I will try my best with my heart.

Ravikumar said...

i write my letter to niece. thanks 4 the idea.

Gundoos said...

No words to say !!!!!!!

Hey Daridala.... eppidi da unnala mattum ippadiyellam mudiyuthu, ennala nambave mudiyalai!!!

Appadiye en manasula enna irukko atha antha letter la eluthirukka.

Unakku theriyathu, enakku neraiya questions vanthuthu kolanthai eppo eppo nu, naan solluven annan kalyanam mudiyattum nu. aana unnoda kalyanam mudunjathum rombha delay pannama unakku munnadi pethukanumnu nenachen athai chithikitayum solirukken.

Athukku mukiya karanam, oru first perana unakku kedacha anbu, chellam etcc... ellam en kolanthai anubavikanum nu. aaana itha naan yaar kitaayum sonnathillai correcta atha letter la eluthirukka :)

Ippavum namma veetla ellarukkum oru special care, yaarum unna thitta kooda maatanga. Enna paninaalum avanga unna vittu kudukkamattengaraanga. Main ah Thatha, Paneer chithappa, Athai kitta yellam naan neraiya thadava Kavanichurukken panirukken. Sollitte polam unakku kedachatha pathi. Ippa innoruthi vera senthutta Saranya to give infinite love like Mom.

I was having lots of plan to do, before admitting in the hospital but all has collapsed cause you know the reason.

I always like,a guy holding the baby and carring them, especially newly married, first dad, unmarried guys cause they do not know how to carry the new born they will be shivering and their expressions will be so cute.

So I wanted to see you and my husband to hold my baby after comming back to the hospital room.

I was having lots of dreams even I was unconsious in ICU.

- Thinking of her first cry,
- My first sight on her
- I think you remember, that I have asked you to bring the cap, balnket and shoe for the baby which I made myself.

I was waited for the baby, to breastfeed her first time cannot forget the moment also very challanging for the cesarian mothers.

Doctor asked me, did you heard baby cry? I said yes and immediately my question to the doctor, Is baby's features and baby is doing fine? yes ,Doctor said. Then only I was relaxed and thinking about my mom and she will be in same position outside. Not only her everybody outside the operation theater.

I still remember everybodies face and dad was more tensed but he doesn't want to show that to me so that he is smiling and showing his thumbs to cheer me up.. ufffffffffffff

lots of experience..... for first time for everybody. Then I know that you both have fear I could not find fear and nervessness in yours and my husband's face.

Lot more to tell no time to type, have voice comments in your blog

hah hahhahhahahhahahah... thittatha da

Pay Rs. 20 she is asking now.

She started her collection before she borns.

Elakiya Natarajan said...

Awesome anna... No words to explain my feeling :)

Karikalan said...

@Gundoos (Tamil)

You and I are not different, we share the same blood, so no wonder that I wrote what you thought.

It was not Rs. 20 Tamil, it was Rs. 20k (20,000). That was the amount we have given to Adheethi on the day of the piercing function. Refer the records. Now you know why I have given Rs. 20k to Adheethi on that day as a compliment, good reason found ha?

Take your time and write all of your thoughts in the next comment in the same post.

Karikalan said...

@Elakiya,
Thanks for the comments. You do not have to explain your feeling. I know how you feel about Adheethi and love her. That explains it all :-).

Meena M said...

Hi Kari...

expression with lot of expectation, promises!!.. I am pretty sure you will make a great uncle..Just thought about Khalil Gibran's poem, so pasted that down below..

On Children
by Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Karikalan said...

@Meena
Thanks for the comment and a lovely poem.

Vasanth said...

For the past 10 days, Adheethi was feeling feverish, got cold and coughing heavily, just i was wondering "why?"...I think just u started writing this "Icy blog" about her..
It feels always sweet when we think about the occasion of Adhee's birth..I truly believe that u have added some more sweetness to it....
Just to disclose something which u r wondering about...yes brother..its me and Tamil who dropped the letter in ur pocket and removed the same before it get into some others hand ;-)..
It seems u had a feeling to prepare yourself to face Adheethi in future..prepare well brother it is going to be tuff for sure..
Adhee's future is depending on the values what we are going to give to her as a family..so it is not only me and Tamil..it is each and every one with us..in that way i am very positive, and she is very lucky that she is having many lovable and caring people around like her Grand parents, aunty and u Kari...

Karikalan said...

Aha, so the letter was kept by you to puzzle me around. Thank God, I was not day dreaming, since I was well known for that in few posts in my blog ;-).

I am sure it will be tough in the future, but what is life without that challenges :-), so keep it coming bro.

Yes, ofcourse, she will have everyone around her to take care of her and pour in all the love they can.