The perfect storm

I crashed to the bed as usual as the other days to accompany the beautiful night which showered limitless cold golden rays. This planet is definitely gifted to have a permanent investor to shower the gold, only to get the pollution in return. The earth bowl needs more moon like souls, which will fill the world with happiness and joy; where equality valued as gold; sharing as diamond; overwhelming quality attitude. My mind ran a thought race to win the sleep, but my eyelids refused my mind and closed with shyness. My mind fought furiously and tried to lift my eyelids, this time with the support of dreams filled with racy thrillers, romances, fantasies and a bit of a super heroism. Uff, it is already 2 am.

It was a long fight. I miserably failed in convincing them both, not able to bear my failure, I got up from my bed. Damn, I very badly need a sleep, like a baby. When was the last time I managed that? hmmmm, yeah @ the time of my sister's marriage. What an occasion that was, truly a storm which took us for an enthralling experience. It was years ago, but it feels like yesterday.

"Kari, are you done with the marriage shopping for Vasanth? You lazy duck, why dont you finish it off?" My mom screamed in the morning. This has almost become my wake up call everyday. My Dad's turn now, "Idiot, you are the best man for Vasanth in the marriage, you are proving it otherwise. Hurry up".

Without a surprise, weeks of shopping for Vasanth ended just hours before the big occasion. It was my job to make Vasanth look smart. Smart eh?, that word always kept a long distance from me since I was born, but I can't give up on my ego, can I? After all, I am Vasanth's best man in the marriage. I have lined up the party wears, suits, shirts, T-shirts, shoes, slippers & belts to compete with each other to load Vasanth's smartness, but is that enough? hmm... something was missing, yeah, that is it, a glow, a glow in Vasanth's face was missing. A long nice facial did the job. After 3 hours, when it was all over, I realised that it was too late and I missed to do my facial. Damn.

My parents have made all the arrangements @ the marriage hall and waiting for me to join them to greet and welcome the guests. They were losing their patience on me. "Where the hell is he?" My dad yelled, "Vasanth's family has left their home, they could be here any minute, where the hell is he?"

My aunt Selvi agreed to do a quick facial for me. The true colors of the facial would only be visible after 2 days. I was too late, but I hoped that it would atleast hide my 3 sleepless nights (blame it on the marriage arrangements) from my face. The time was running out, it did not let me think about anything. My aunt did a crash course in facial on my face. Thanks aunty.

Panneer uncle was losing his patience, called me. "Where are you? The groom's family could be here any time, hurry up. We also have to pick up people from the bus stop since they don't know where the marriage hall is". Nataraj uncle called, "Kari, we need to buy few things for the chef to prepare the food, hurry up". Nagaraj uncle called, "Kari, my friends wants to refresh @ the hotel, can you show them the hotel?". My aunt called, "Kari, can you please get a garland for the bride, we forgot". My friends called....

I was driving crazy with the facial mask on, in the roads of Coimbatore with my cousin Dilip covering my back. My mission: Go home, clean up the facial, dress up and get to the marriage hall before Vasanth's family arrives. It needs 60 mins, but I had only 5. Many on the road would have thought, I must be a crazy freak driving with some kind of mask on. I managed to scare my relatives @ my home as well.

Guests, who were waiting for me to pick them up got fed up and made their own way to the marriage hall with frustration, which boosted the anger of my parents and uncle. They were fuming like the Sun and waiting for my arrival to burst. More the time passed, closer the groom's family was to the marriage hall. Dad, uncles, aunts and friends dialled my number again.

I had to shhusshh the mobile for a while. I was in the urge to complete my mission. I sat on my bike and ignited the engine. "Kari, your mustache is not well aligned", my friend Rama told. God dammit! I panicked. Oh boy, the mirror agreed with Rama. Scissors trimmed the error, it was done in a rush, relatives everywhere, never got a private place, even if I had one, the tension did not let me feel so. Outcome: I almost removed my entire mushtache. Crap.

Dad and uncle were busy in the kitchen. Mom was busy decorating the reception. I ran into the groom's room, Thank God, Vasanth's family was not there yet. Phew. Tried to dress up, I was just half dressed, but my uncle dragged me to the reception to welcome Vasanth's family. After the welcome ceremony, I realised that I did not zip my trousers, Whoooops. The moment which I will never forget in my life time.

Guests started pouring to the marriage hall; We expected around 1500 people; Entire family were in full swing to attend them; In a while everyone will want to see the couple, have food and leave. Again my mobile buzzed. "Is Vasanth ready yet?" my uncle shouted. The blame rockets started flying all over the hall carrying my name for the delay.



I helped Vasanth to dress up; the bride was busy with the make up; while waiting for the bride I tried to setup my laptop for the slideshow planned, which let me down in a big time. After a long fight, with huge pressure piling up in the marriage hall, I gave up. I rushed and took the hands of the couple and walked them to the stage to lighten up the occasion.

Uff, major part was over, let me rest, I thought. "What? The ride has just begun, rest is 2 more sleepless days away", said the following events.

Welcoming guests; introducing people; getting introduced; food arrangements; drinks for people; drinks for couple; introducing the couple; pick ups and drops; arranging accomodation; medication for old people; managing the photographers; buying things for the marriage process; securing the valuables; checking the dining; tipping the drinkers; photo session with relatives/family and friends; preparing thank you cards; distributing sweets; convincing some; pleasing some; glancing some; calming down the silly fights; yeah all were tried for over 1000 people.

..the head count was hitting 1500; and the night was still young; we were all over the place; everyone did everything; all plans went for a toss; "Plans are made to be broken?"; we just had to go with the flow; neither could we pause it or streamline it; yeah, just gone with the flow.

I was spinning like a wheel of a car cruising in the speed of 120 kmph. My heart never pumped the blood so hard ever; My nerves played drums in my face; I never drank the air that much ever; I was sweating to resolve the water scarcity; I felt like I was thrown into a Tsunami and struggled to catch my breath. Thanks to Chakku, Sujai, Gopi and Arumugam who accompanied me in this ride. Without them, I would have been left without an Oxygen.

I remembered myself snoozing when driving back to my home after sending off the last guest who came for the marriage. I tried to keep myself awake from the 3 sleepless nights, but couldn't, I almost fell off from the bike. Thank God, my home was not far. I somehow managed reached the home. I felt like a drunkard; I blabbered something; my vision blurred; head spun; swimmed to the bed; and crashed like a baby; Yes, I truly felt so. It was at that time, I slept like a baby.

Yes, I slept like a baby. Do babies snore?... I did. I heard someone asking "What happened to the plan?"

Cartoon characters plan was swayed away due to the lack of professionals.
Face painters plan was washed away by traditional humans.
Magician plan disappeared due to the afford-ability.
Ramp walk plan was ruled out since we didn't even have time to run.
Slideshow plan worked, but the old memories were never in the picture.
Wish speech recording plan was a victim of the disease "Busy".
A script to carve a movie was dropped due to the lack of plan.

In my deep sleep, from somewhere inside the well, I heard again "What happened to the plan?". I wanted to say "It is all still alive... in the DREAMS", but... I just continued to sleep like a baby.

The Plan

The light necklace around our house were blinking with happiness and added to the glow; the entrance gates opened it's arms to welcome the guests storming in; our lawn was filled with chillness after a smart haircut to cool down the heat poured in from it's day buddy; the dad made pond was juggling their little treasures to jolly up the mood; the way to the portico was filled with chairs which politely said "relax" in their foreheads; the plants were expressing their pleasure by nodding heavily; Our house was showing off with the recently done two layer make up; garbage kicked out, so that more can be made again; Whiskey and Rummy (pet dogs) were missing in the scene; "I am busy, I am busy" prided our house which attracted the strangers passing by;

Stepping into the hall made me feel that I was in the middle of the ocean, ocean of people, people with love, lots of love;

Everyone busy chatting about the occasion; some thought loud about their childh(g)ood days, some exaggerated; some started their history, some wanted to make one; some teased, some looked away; many laughed, few tried to; some in the loo, few in the other loo; some played cards, some watching them; some dum sharads, some anthaksharis; some sung, some screamed; ladies cooking, gents eating; kids running around, some grown too; some watched TV, few ignored; some were loud, some were quiet; teasing comments, fake angers, naughty jokes, lousy histories, future predictions, applauds, kisses, hugs, waaah!

Lots of love around, overwhelming it was; Feels like a gigantic Mexican wave was right on to drown me for good.

I know you are wondering, "what are all these for?"

mmmhummmm... let me fix my throat before I speak, this was all for one thing, yes, the one thing our family was waiting and dreaming for, the first marriage in our whole family in my generation, YES, a long awaited one... MY SISTER's WEDDING.

Ofcourse, we wanted to make this occasion a memorable experience for our whole family. Hence, the master plan was devised, Ho Kay! (as our famous comedian Vadivelu says).

Dad, Mom, Tamil, Vasanth and Myself were working out different possibilities, more possibilities than when we chess. The plan, we mentioned it at least once whenever we spoke, we slept with it (no naughty thoughts ;-) ), we dreamt about it, we woke up with it, simply we were breathing it, yeah, THE PLAN.

Cartoon characters around kicking the giggles in the hall.
Face painters to hide guest's real colors.
Masks to see our funny face at least once in a while.
Magician who surprises the guests with... well you know.
Ramp walk of the next in queue brides, grooms kids.
Slide show of family photos to help our guests digest their dinner.
Wish speech of our guests in a video.
A Script guides the video recording to carve a movie out of it.
Wish book, signed by the guests, which will seat in the album next to their photos.
..and delicious food, comfortable stay, glittering decorations, breezing travel etc.

Grandpa, Dad, Mom, Laxmi aunty, Easwari aunty at the reception.
Panneer and Thangaraj uncle taking care of the procedures and formalities.
Natraj and Nagaraj uncle at dining. Yeah, they love food ;-).
Thilaga aunty to ensure guests attendance with a click.
Chakku to take care of the stay and travel with the help of Sujai and Gopi.
Myself to take care of the bride and groom, stage plans, greet, welcome all the guests and to manage the above activities planned.

Now, we are all set, armed and equipped. Ready to rock and impress our guests and to passionately deliver the mission "Wow, what an experience". We were all confident that we can execute the plans above smoothly without a flaw and make this occasion a memorable one. After all, it is just our relatives, we have arranged everything and we have a huge experience in our bag.

...but, but, but, the reality had a different answer for our plan.

Have a break, Have a kit kat. Before the reality jumps on you ;-).

Kari invites...

Bro! When are you going to do it?

It was Tamil, who sounded excited, eager and anxious. I heard her heart through her voice. One should be a very holy person in his/her previous life to see the behavior of excited Tamil ;-). Well, it is always good to see a kid wobbling around all the way when she learns to talk and walk, isn't it?.

The days are racing with each other, when are you going to do it? you are pushing things to the last minute and going to lose the race with the time.

It was Tamil again, who got fed up of asking the same question again and again (not even .1% of the times she spoke to her new friend over the phone ;-)). I had to appreciate NOKIA's QA team for making such a withstanding product. There were also rumours that due to the high revenue the Indian government got through the calls made by lovers, they are planning to launch a sub-ministry called "Love all" ministry ;-).

Dey, have you got the content ready? are you going to print it or not? Do whatever you want, I do not know what you are thinking. I am not going to say it again, then it is your wish.

She was furiously serious and seriously furious this time.

Well, all the emotions were pitched on me for one thing... wedding invitation. Recently we have fixed a boy for Tamil to be her life partner (whether the boy is in a fix or not, only the Oracle can answer ;-)). My Great Great Grandfather dictated that, only the bride's parents should print the wedding invitation. Now a days, people do not even remember their grand father's name, ha, their words? yeah, it is in the bin. Well, I am printing one to invite my friends for my sister's wedding, ahrrr.. my first kid's wedding. So, G.G.Grand pa, I am not breaking the custom ha? so bless us from heaven.

Why should I delay it? if I can get a nice concept to pour in the card. It takes time, a long time. Should I be usual or casual, sentimental or emotional, responsible or irresponsible; I told you right, it takes time. But, at last, One fine night, I got it.

The clock in my house was close to finish it's day's task; The sofa yielded it's physic to hold me; after lots of sentimentally usual drafts torn and binned, I started to tear my hair (believe me, I do not have much left;-)); closed my eyes to search for some light; tic tic tic, the clock kept me awake; it was at that right moment, I heard someone humming a hit song; very mild; very casual; not organized; like a freak trying to spoil the music; loud laughter; heard some footsteps; I tried to focus, my eyes were still closed; thig thig thig thig; I heard someone running; suddenly I felt the sofa was bulging next to me to hold someone; who was it; I opened my eyes slowly; Shreeeekkkkk!! my heart jumped out of the vessel; my eyes were opened to the boundaries; my blood was pumping hard; and it was hot; shivering and speechless I was; I do not remember us having a mirror next to me.

Yeah, I saw myself sitting next to me; crazy eh?; but, my clone was different (was wondering if he was a clone or a clown ;-)); relaxed; agile; enthusiastic; humming; in a jolly mood; just an opposite of me; the outlook and the behavior says it all; I was staring at him for a long time and he did not seem to care; wanted to scream, could not; did not know what to do; it took time for me to recognize that he is a jolly side of me; Yo, dude whatz the time? he asked; I looked at the clock, it was 12:40 am; when I turned to answer him, he was already using my laptop; I was still shivering and nervous; My eye lids became heavy; I glanced at the time again, it was 1:30 am; by the time I turned, my clone was not there; I looked for him everywhere; he was gone; I looked at the laptop, the cursor was blinking at the end of the following content in the Textpad,

2008 B.M.V.

Mom: Tamil, who do you like in our family? Dad, Me or Kari?
Tamil: Dad and Mom are my eyes, my brother is my heart.
Dad: How can you be without us after marriage?
Tamil: I hate to think about that, I will never get married, I will never leave you, mom or Kari.
Mom and Dad: (concerned).

2008 A.M.V.

Mom: Tamil, who do you like in our family? Dad, Me or Kari?
Tamil: (Singing duet with Vasanth... in her dreams).
Dad: Tamil, answer mom, she is waiting for your answer.
Tamil: ufff! I heard this 1000 times, ask something else Mom.
Dad: How can you be without us after marriage?
Tamil: Vasanth will take care of me, God! why the days are not moving faster?
Mom and Dad: (still concerned, now about Vasanth).

Well, I too am concerned about Vasanth, after all he is a huMAN race. When Vasanth visited the worry factor and asked me what to do? what to do?, I boosted his confidence by making him aware that my dear ones are around to save him. Only then he agreed for the life time deal on Dec. 5th 2008 at 6 am in Ponmani Marriage Hall, Coimbatore. So, friends, I know your wishes are always with us, but ensure your presence to at least introduce yourself to Vasanth so he feels comfortable to call you when he is in Tamil trouble.

Vasanth's well wisher,
Kari...

B.M.V. = Before Meeting Vasanth.
A.M.V. = After Meeting Vasanth.

Confused; angry; furious; happy; teased; let down; funny; why did I push Kari to get the invitation ready; It was Tamil who was having mixed feelings.



Bro, are you really going to print this in the invitation? She asked. Without a doubt I said (I just said it but...).

...but I cannot let my kid down at any cost, can I?, a week later, Tamil had a look at the invitation shown in the image, the first printed copy. When she finished reading it, her eyes were filled with tears of sentiments and joy.

So friends, please be there to make Vasanth comfortable by being on his side.